Weddings might be the best day of a couple’s life but at times everything goes down the drain. Well, scratch that, they are dragged down the mud and filth as if to enter the race of worst day spent in history.
These weddings definitely didn’t start happy. At least, not the way these people wanted them to but what happened, happened. It can’t be altered in any way. It can be narrated, though and hence, the confessions below are a memoir of the cringe-worthiness called wedding day.
1. Thank god, nobody got hurt.
“At a cousin’s wedding my uncle was smashed and thought he’d had a stroke in the bathroom as he couldn’t straighten himself. Turned out he’d buttoned his waistcoat to his trousers and couldn’t stand up.”
2. Wow. I am sure, nobody saw this coming.
“During the best man speech, the best man proposed to the maid of honor. Totally stole the night from the bride and groom. Now the best man and maid of honor are in the process of divorcing.”
3. That’s not a very good thought to have.
“At my own wedding reception, I saw my wife’s grandma, who was about 98, very slowly and with a terrible sense of inevitability fall sideways off her chair. She remained in a sitting position but just slooowly tilted sideways til she was on the floor, still in the exact same pose.
It sounds sh*tty but all I could think was “f**ksake don’t die at our wedding please don’t die at our wedding”
Luckily she was fine, and lived for another few years to see her 100th birthday.”
4. How cruel can people really be!
“Was at a wedding this summer. The groom’s family absolutely tore their son/brother apart during the speeches. They didn’t say one loving thing, and went on to talk about all the mistakes he made during this life. The worst thing they brought up was how he was responsible for a car accident that put someone in a coma. I was cringing.”
5. And this is how things go really really bad.
“At the reception, the bride received a tip to go out to the parking lot where she found her new husband making out with his ex gf. The ensuing fight came inside the hall and the party screeched to a halt. Both families were displeased and stuck him with ALOT of bills. We kept our gift.”
6. Way to make it more and more awkward.
“During the “Man of Honor” speech, the guy repeatedly said the name of the bride’s ex instead of her new husband. Three times. “When I first saw [Bride] and [Bride’s ex], I knew they were perfect for each other”. Stuff like that. And he caught himself, too, every time. He was insanely embarrassed… but he still did it three times throughout the speech.
It was so awkward watching it happen… probably the biggest social trainwreck I’ve ever seen.”
7. Yeah well, that was ought to happen.
B”ride’s step-mother and mother got into a fight. Step-mother bit the mother. Wedding went to a screeching halt”
8. That is one heck of a shock to the newlyweds.
“The brides father had a heart attack while they were reading their vows. He didn’t make it. ‘Not a great way to start a marriage.”
9. This definitely sounds like a movie scene. A horrifically comedic one.
“When the groom broke down and admitted to everyone that he was actually gay. While at the altar. That was pretty f**king entertaining. The bride quite literally vomited from the stress, people went mental. I saw a fat kid eating a slice under the cake table. Children screaming, dogs barking, and a priest trying to calm everyone down. Like a f**king comedy movie.”
10. I don’t see this going very far.
“Groom got really drunk, trashed the suite, and got tased by the police before being arrested.”
11. When your life becomes a dramatic movie.
“I worked weddings for a living and once saw the best man get loaded, give a speech, and profess his love of the bride and how they had slept together two nights before.”
12. When life is just sad and sad but it gets happy too.
“Bride never showed up. My cousin was the groom and had about 500 people in attendance. He got on the mic and said there’s no bride, so we had the party anyway. He married someone else 2 years later”
13. No offense. This is one scenario where I’d rather be blind.
“Friends’ wedding a few years ago. The DJ had screens up for slideshows of the bride and groom that were played during some of the songs. Fine. DJ’s screensaver was Girls Gone Wild style videos. We saw lots of t*ts on those screens.”
14. Talk about an awkward conversation.
My cousins mother in law told my cousin that her dress was ugly and then called the next day to ask if they had s*x. Super awkward. My cousin is super religious and modest and was waiting for her wedding night to do anything so it was extremely embarrassing for her.
15. Let’s just say that the divorce was coming.
The groom passed out drunk before the dinner even started. The bride had s*x with one of the groom’s co-worker. They divorced two months later.